Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Get Me Outta Here!

Maybe it's because I've never really travelled much before. Maybe it's because the things binding me to New York City are beginning to dwindle very quickly. Maybe the rest of the world is too damn exciting and enticing. Maybe I'm restless. Maybe I'm just plain bored. But whatever the reason, I have been haunting the Study Abroad page of my college's website since the middle of July waiting anxiously for them to post the available programs for the short winter semester of 2010. (I'm still waiting, in fact. September, they told me. It's September now, guys!)

I've never left the country, except once on a cruise to Canada. I spent one day on Canadian soil. I've tried to go traveling through various academic programs in the past, to Europe, Australia, you name it, but for various reasons, it hasn't ever worked out. It's been ten years since I've even been on a plane. I've been itching to travel for quite a while now, but it's become a more pronounced desire in the past few months. Perhaps that was brought on by spending time with That Man I fell in love with, who has seen and done such a wide array of things I cannot help but be terribly jealous when he tells me stories. When I say he's been almost everywhere, it's not too gross of an exaggeration. He takes the most amazing photographs of everywhere he goes, and it just makes me want to get out there and see it all. It really rekindled my desire to get out there and see the world while I still can. Perhaps I've just been reading too much, and looking at too many photos in my textbooks. There is so much out there to be seen, beauty, both natural and manmade, art, food, culture, life, and I am sick of being stuck in this city.

For a very long time, I put off my travel plans. I was too attached to things here. When I went off to college, I was so attached to things and people here that I didn't even consider going to school anywhere else. When I got to college, I got a job, and I fell in love. And maybe my desperate need to get out of here is because so many of those things and people I'd grown so attached to are gone, and all I'm left with is memories of the way things were. The show that I'd been working at for nearly two years closed this past Sunday, which was rather devastating. That Man I fell in love with is going to be off again, moving away, working, and seeing the world without me. I have a new job, but it doesn't mean nearly as much to me. And that's not to insult the job or my coworkers, but without the strong attachment I had to my old job and the great bond with everyone that worked there, I'm more able to look at this new job as just a job, and allow myself to leave without missing it much. I have other people I care about, and who care about me, but I know they'll be here when I get back. The relationships I have with the people in my life right now are not as volatile and unpredictable as That Man. I can take a little time to myself without having to worry too much about what will happen. There is a lot less holding me down, and maybe because of that, it's harder and harder to fight my urge to just go. Get out. Be free. I want to fly.

There's nothing wrong with the city. Really, there's not. It's convenient, and exciting, and fun. It's all me, I swear. But I feel trapped, and stifled. I feel like a robot, and I feel like I'm missing out on so much. Plus, after spending so much time wanting to stay put, I figure that now that I actually WANT to leave, I should hurry up and go before I change my mind. Losing my job and That Man at the same time has given me the desire and the motivation to get up and get out.

So I'm aiming to study abroad for a few weeks in the winter. As a sort of practice run, I suppose. As I've said, I haven't travelled much, so I figure my best bet is to go someplace not too far, for not too long, with a very organized program.

Do you travel a lot? Do you do it for work or for fun? Do you like to travel? Do you wish you travelled more, or less? In your opinion, what is the best way to travel? Where is your favorite place that you have gone? What made you decide to go there?


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