Forgive the Pirates of the Caribbean pun, but I leave for Disney World tomorrow and I'm trying to get myself excited for it.
For the past couple weeks, I will openly admit that I've been wallowing. I've been wallowing in my troubles with my school (I've been done with classes for over 3 months now and administrative bullshit is holding my degree just out of reach), my bitterness about my job (It had run its course a year ago, now it's just all the things I don't need), my relationship dilemmas (you know what, let's not even go there, that's too long for parentheses), among various physical ailments. I've been curling up into a ball under the covers because dragging myself out of bed in the morning just wasn't worth it.
And that's pathetic.
So I'm trying to change my outlook a little. There's a light somewhere at the end of this god forsaken tunnel, and there's an unlimited horizon in front of me, waiting for me to sail out to it. And parking my ass on my futon eating take out is never going to get me there.
I have two jobs coming up. I start training to be a sub dresser at an off-Broadway show in two weeks, and I'm on the costume crew for the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. If I'm lucky, I am going to be able to join the wardrobe union within the next couple of months. The administrative entanglements surrounding my degree will be resolved as soon as a few transcripts find their way to the proper offices, and I will officially have my Bachelor's Degree. And who knows, maybe in the coming months I'll be in a position to quit my retail job.
The point is, I have something to look forward to, and if I don't make it better, it's only going to get worse.
Though, frankly, it's a lot easier to pull the covers up over my head and say "Things just aren't working" and refuse to face the world. But things aren't going to work if I just sit here, so all I can do is try my best at everything.
I think that if there's one thing people should know about me, it's that I'm passionate. I don't half-ass things. If I'm in it, I'm all in.
I want to work to the best of my ability, and love to the best of my ability, and live to the best of my ability. Which is really admirable to sit here and say, but I suppose we have to wait and see the follow through...