Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Now Bring Me That Horizon

Forgive the Pirates of the Caribbean pun, but I leave for Disney World tomorrow and I'm trying to get myself excited for it. 

For the past couple weeks, I will openly admit that I've been wallowing. I've been wallowing in my troubles with my school (I've been done with classes for over 3 months now and administrative bullshit is holding my degree just out of reach), my bitterness about my job (It had run its course a year ago, now it's just all the things I don't need), my relationship dilemmas (you know what, let's not even go there, that's too long for parentheses), among various physical ailments. I've been curling up into a ball under the covers because dragging myself out of bed in the morning just wasn't worth it. 

And that's pathetic. 

So I'm trying to change my outlook a little. There's a light somewhere at the end of this god forsaken tunnel, and there's an unlimited horizon in front of me, waiting for me to sail out to it. And parking my ass on my futon eating take out is never going to get me there. 

I have two jobs coming up. I start training to be a sub dresser at an off-Broadway show in two weeks, and I'm on the costume crew for the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. If I'm lucky, I am going to be able to join the wardrobe union within the next couple of months. The administrative entanglements surrounding my degree will be resolved as soon as a few transcripts find their way to the proper offices, and I will officially have my Bachelor's Degree. And who knows, maybe in the coming months I'll be in a position to quit my retail job. 

The point is, I have something to look forward to, and if I don't make it better, it's only going to get worse. 

Though, frankly, it's a lot easier to pull the covers up over my head and say "Things just aren't working" and refuse to face the world. But things aren't going to work if I just sit here, so all I can do is try my best at everything. 

I think that if there's one thing people should know about me, it's that I'm passionate. I don't half-ass things. If I'm in it, I'm all in. 

I want to work to the best of my ability, and love to the best of my ability, and live to the best of my ability. Which is really admirable to sit here and say, but I suppose we have to wait and see the follow through...



  1. "I think that if there's one thing people should know about me, it's that I'm passionate. I don't half-ass things. If I'm in it, I'm all in." You and me both, sister. :-)

    Okay, now, several things. One -- Disney = AWESOME. Mickey Mouse ice cream is a must. At Epcot, I usually eat the Chinese or Japense food. If you go to Epoct, go to the Land of Imagination and go on the Figment Ride (I don't know if what it's called). When you get off that ride, you'll be in Figment's playland, which has a bunch of amusing games and things. Also, there's a place called The Imagination Station (I think) where you can play any video game ever made -- and they have a virtual reality thing. SO COOL. Okay, I'm going to stop now, because I'm a geek. Clearly.

    As far as the future, I think that is amazing, about the sub-dresser and the T-Day parade. I'm going to watch it (while cooking), and think, "I know the woman who made that costume." Seriously, your future is so full of possibilities, and I know that you will be awesome any everything you do. For what it's worth, I will be cheering on you. :-)

  2. My Epcot priority is definitely drinking around the world. Haha. Which is not going to end well for me, most likely, considering I'm 115 pounds and not a drinker. Safest thing to do is not finish the drinks. My to-do list is kind of funny, because there are a few abnormal tasks I have been given - I have to go find specific employees and stuff. But I also need to ride Expedition Everest. FAVORITE RIDE!

    The thing that is great about the sub dressing is that this might turn out to be my way into the union, which would just be one huge worry lifted from my shoulders. As for the parade, I don't get to MAKE any costumes, but as for right now I am responsible for making sure the folks on the Hess float get them on, and that they're in good condition and fitting properly and blah blah blah. My family wanted to come in and watch the parade live to see me and I had to explain that it doesn't work like that. They found out I was working the parade and were like "Do you get to carry a balloon??"

    ...they don't let people my size do that. Hahaha!

  3. Drinking your way around Epoct, eh? Just make sure you eat prior and during. Otherwise, it will go straight to your head verrrrry quickly.

    I hope that sub dressing helps you get into the union. That would be good, if it eased your worries. :-) As for you carrying a balloon, you would SO float away. We could nickname you Balloon Girl. ;-)